Recently I posted a knee-jerk reaction to the latest school massacre. With beloved nephews and cousins in Tennessee schools, the shootings in Kentucky and Florida this year hit too close to home. I was railing against the politicians who say or tweet insincere “thoughts and prayers” while defending the guns over the rights of children.
The first comments were as heartbroken and incredulous as I was. Then some of the the extreme pro-gun crowd started defending their guns without even acknowledging the kids killed. I almost took the post down…but reminded myself that we NEED to have conversations about this.
For the people who defended "thoughts and prayers" without really reading that post: Every one of us has sympathy for these children and their grieving families. We are ALL sending our good thoughts and/or prayers. When we really care, though, we do not stop at that...we do something.
I write/call representatives, vote, march…but until enough of us are willing to stand up to protect these kids, nothing will change. There is no ONE thing at the root of these killings and we need to find some way to work together for a solution. Trying to communicate and bridge gaps between the sides seemed like one more positive thing I could try to do.
In the spirit of communication, I left that post up as an opportunity to listen and engage all sides. People started having conversations (even though they weren’t all friendly). Emotions are raw about this subject and neither side is innocent of name-calling or sharing false information. Comments that were gratuitously and viciously name-calling were deleted, false links were countered or deleted...but I let most of the rest of them stay, so others could judge for themselves which were rational, thoughtful attempts at communicating. As a gun owner, I don't think taking all the guns away would solve the issue...but as someone concerned about people's safety, I believe we need to seriously rethink some things.
Meanwhile, my own mother was harshly chiding me for writing about this horror because she thought we should be “letting them grieve”. (I adore my Mom, so that hurt way more than that attacks from gunhuggers).
While I appreciate the "let them grieve" sentiment...how long does it take to grieve the loss of a child? After losing a son, I can honestly say “a lifetime”. For me, it will be 30 years in October.
Every time I hear of someone losing a child, I remember and empathize…and my loss was NOTHING like losing a child to gun violence. Most of us will never know how that feels to the parents of children killed in these school shootings. Every time another child is killed, I am sure they relive their own loss, the moment they heard…the horror of having to identify the bullet-ridden remains of their child…some of whom had to be identified by DNA due to damage.
The children, the parents, the families that have survived or lost loved ones in these shootings are not asking for time to grieve...they are asking that we do something now.
When 6 and 7 year olds were gunned down at Sandy Hook and those parents grieved an unimaginable loss, we should have had their back. We should have dealt with the issue for them so those families COULD grieve. We should have fought for them so they could know that this country cared enough about their losses to DO something and keep it from happening again.
Instead, those parents had to step up to fight on their own. Grieving families created organizations like Sandy Hook Promise to try and stop this from happening again. They had to pause their grief because the people who had not lost children were too busy arguing, “letting them grieve”, offering nothing more than thoughts and prayers…or defending their guns.
Despite their efforts, here we are, six years later…people are still arguing, still saying “let them grieve”, still offering “thoughts and prayers”, still defending their guns…and children are still dying.
Ironically, just as I was digesting words from my mother condemning my attempts at action and communication, a video popped up of the remarkable Emma Gonzalez. Among the powerful things Emma said as she wiped her tears: “we are up here standing together because if all our government and President can do is send thoughts and prayers, then it's time for victims to be the change that we need to see.”
Emma's speech was one of the most courageous and heartbreaking things I have ever seen.
Shame on all of us for putting these young people in the position of having to speak up on this issue...when they SHOULD be grieving and healing. We should be doing the work so they can grieve and heal without having to fight. If we had done the work long ago…they would not be grieving now.
The kids and teachers who survive these shootings will face PTSD for the rest of their lives.
The families of the kids killed will grieve for the rest…of…their…lives.
Shame on all of us.
The teens of Stoneman Douglas High are taking on the dark side politicians owned by the NRA with a pure-hearted determination that would shame a Jedi. Many of these young people aren’t even old enough to vote, yet they are facing down career politicians because the “grown-ups” wouldn’t do it.
They want change and we have forced them to fight for it on their own, through their tears...in honor of the grieving families, their lost friends and teachers. These kids are fighting to prevent anyone else from facing the same horror, and for their own peace of mind.
We should be in awe. We should be behind them and standing up for them. Many of us are…but not all.
Some republicans are accusing them, attacking them, and doing their best to tear these kids apart. Members of the right are claiming these kids were paid, that they are actors, that these shootings were “staged” for political gain. These kids and their families are getting death threats.
Shame on you, GOP.
These brave young people are stepping up and fighting the battle we should have fought after Columbine, after Sandy Hook...after too many of these killings. They need us to have their backs. They need our support, our voices and our votes.
They have mine.
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