No one is free of regret…or innocent of mistakes. We are taught to "put our past behind" us…but in some ways, that might be leaving something vital out of the mix. Our past mistakes, bad experiences, poor choices and regrettable decisions are as much a part of us as the color of our eyes.
The "baggage" does not go away because we leave it behind…it follows us quietly and sorrowfully through life. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should drag along the pain, anger, anxiety that these things cause. Rather, that we should embrace that part of ourselves with love and forgiveness…and OWN our part in it. Only by doing so can we learn to see the lessons those experiences offer.
I believe we are drawn to certain people (or types of people) because they have something to teach us about ourselves. What do we miss learning about ourselves when we try to erase a relationship because we, as the song says, "went down that wrong road again"?
It is easy to lump the pain and regret all onto someone else and burn the bridge between you, but sometimes that fire also consumes all the good that came into your life with that person. No matter how badly something ended…it always began with something beautiful.
Our mistakes do not, by default, define us. We CHOOSE what to define ourselves by. Some allow themselves to be defined by their tragedies…others define themselves only by their successes. To be whole, I believe we should choose neither…but rather live in harmony with our failures and in humility with our successes. It is in that balance that we find peace.