One artist's journey: Trying to live a creative life with grace, grit, gratitude...and a border collie.
(or perhaps I should say: greys, grit and gratitude)

31 July 2014

Go Limp

by Lyn StClair

You never know who will touch your life…sometimes, sadly, they aren't even here.

Since moving to this amazing place, I have felt a deepening connection to a woman I never met.  She was, it seems, something very special…brilliant, funny, beautiful, strong, feisty and wise.

Glynna was gone before I ever knew of this place that is now "home".  Friends shared snippets about her before my move, enough to make me realize that we might well have been friends.  She is often in my thoughts as I explore this place and marvel at its beauty. The more I learn of her from her family, the more I love her.  The other night, while perusing her family's old photo albums, it struck me that I've been seeing her in her daughter's smile.  Then came a little gift, from Glynna through her daughter, Cassidy…

Cassidy spoke of the new moon as a time for creating intention and, in describing her own intention for this new moon, shared two words of wisdom handed down from her Mom:  
"Go limp"

Those words were like a match tossed into my tinder heart (pun intended).  No explanation was needed as to their meaning because they were a beautifully succinct way of describing a life philosophy that I have been crafting for some time…and trying my best to practice.

Go limp.

We are taught to fight for what we love, work for what we want, to brace against pressure, suck up our gut and stand for what we believe in.  This can be a good thing, a way of creating our life and forging our dreams.  Being a rock has its place…but sometimes it is also important to let oneself be a leaf on the wind.  

Throughout my years, I have determinedly worked for my dreams.  Despite my best efforts, life has often picked me up and swept me in directions I never imagined wanting to go.  There are ragged scars in my heart and deep bruises in my soul from fighting the current over and over again.  

With time, hindsight has shown me the wisdom of going limp and letting go.  It did not come easily… often I was still fighting when "going limp" came, not as a choice, but out of pure exhaustion.  When you have given until you are empty or fought until you had nothing left (it's only a flesh wound!")…those are the moments when a deeper truth is revealed if you are willing to look for it.  More often than not, when I let go of what I wanted…something better came along.

These days I am learning to go limp sometimes when there is still some fight left…or before the fight even begins.  It is remarkable to discover the peace of mind that letting go can bring.  Of course, I will keep chasing after my dreams…but there is also empowerment in setting yourself free of that ego-driven desire for life to be the way you want it to be and simply accepting the perfect beauty of what it is.  

This wonderful home came into my life because, after years of struggle, I allowed myself to go limp.  It is a "soul" place that heals, teaches and inspires me.  With it came some remarkable people…including one incredible woman who was lost too soon to cancer.

Glynna, darlin', where ever you are, hope you know how much I appreciate being able to share this piece of Montana that you loved so much.  You are in my thoughts every time I ride the ranch or stand in speechless awe of this landscape.  Your family has become treasured friends and I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know you through them.  Thank you for the piece of my dream realized because your own dream come true…and for those two words:

Go limp

Thanks also to Cassidy Freeman for taking this wonderful photo of Newt, Jesse and I on top of the world (in more ways than one)